Bittersweet Symphony

I have often been asked: "How does one predict the future?" The answer to that question is a great deal simpler than most people presume it to be.

To begin with, one must understand a basic, fundamental truth: that parody is synonymous with prophecy. In other words, close your eyes and ask yourself what the most ridiculous and most farcical occurrence you could imagine would be. And that will form the foundations upon which the future will be based.

To provide an example, far back in time, a year after the September 11th attacks and the subsequent American invasion of Afghanistan, my family had a party, at which time our country's inability to find the terrorists responsible for the bombings became a target of conversation. "I can see it now" my sibling joked. "They're going to say: 'who cares about Bin Laden, with a maniac like Saddam on the lose!'" And everyone laughed. It just seemed like so silly and remote a possibility.

Less than a year later, no one was still laughing. The United States had indeed launched an unprovoked invasion of Iraq to distract from its failures in the War on Terror. My sibling's attempt at humor had inadvertently stumbled into the realm of prophecy.

But why does the rule of association between parody and prophecy work? Well, to quote a much more cynical man than I: "There is a sucker born every second!" We live in a world full of very foolish people. And the question hence becomes: are you intelligent enough to know how unintelligent every one else is?

If the answer to that question is a resounding "Yes!", then you will never be disappointed by your fellow man again, because you will have never placed any faith whatsoever in him, or in humanity for that matter, to begin with.

So when for instance hoards of people refuse to get vaccinated against a vicious pandemic, only to once infected demand that they be treated with horse de-worming drugs, none of that will surprise you. Because you will rightly understand that it has been par for the course on this Earth since time immemorial, and that it will continue to be for quite some time to come.